Following your passion
I have 3 beautiful children, a husband that I am convinced was made just for me, and a true passion for life. That being said, I have had far from a perfect life. I got my degree in nursing in 2011, had a job offer before I graduated, and was unceremoniously told that I was not the right fit for said job exactly six months to the day after I started. It didn't matter that my record was impeccable or that I always went above and beyond, doing the best I could. I could go on and on, but I won't. I will say that it shook me to my core. I was young, eager, and extremely naïve and I just could not seem to move past the blow. Shortly after, I found out I was pregnant with my first child and I never looked back. I had my second child two years later, and my third two years after that. I was so happy being a mother and a wife. I loved watching my children and garden grow. I filled my days with mothering, "wifeing", canning, gardening, and accomplishing the goals my husband and I set when we first got together.
But something was missing, something deep and nagging. I no longer had goals for myself. I would listen to my husband talk about his personal goals and work goals, admiring the passion and drive he had for his life. I had lost that. All of my passion was spent on taking care of my family, or so I thought. I was even jealous of him because I thought that maybe it was because I was a stay-at-home-mom that I didn't have goals and passion anymore. But then I dug a little deeper and realized that I was really just hiding behind my family so that I didn't have to face the fact that I was scared to try again. I was still hung up on the things that didn't work out, and I was really good at being a mom so why try anything else. I was comfortable, well, as comfortable as one can be wiping behinds and cleaning up mystery puddles all day. I also hid behind the fact that I am in a position where I can see my children grow and spend every day with them. Many people don't get that opportunity, and I certainly didn't want to waste mine.
And then one day I was driving home and the thought came to me that I was given these talents to create and I was wasting them. I can look at a piece of fabric, whether it is an old tablecloth or a curtain, and see what it could be. I spend time before falling asleep every night visualizing design concepts and then bringing them to life. When I design for someone, I design to fit their soul, not just their body. I express myself through fabric and pulling beauty out of things that other people have written off. I have a dream! I have passion! And what a shame it would be to waste that. What kind of example am I giving my children, by not following my dreams, when I tell them to follow theirs. It was laid on my heart that I had to at least take a leap of faith and put myself out there. Because the worst regrets in life truly are the regrets of the things we didn't do.
So here I am, putting myself out there. Following my dreams. Finding my passion. And all I am asking is for you to bear witness to it. Be apart of it if you feel so led. I have met some of the most incredible people on this journey. People who are just as passionate about what they do as I am. People who I have had the pleasure of designing for. It is an incredibly intimate experience when someone says, design something for ME, I trust you. Because then I get to show them how I see them. From turning a hard working photographer mom bomb into a ethereal earth mother, to transforming a music director into a 50s dream for her wedding reception. We wear clothes every day and think nothing of it. Shouldn't we, on those special days, get to wear a reflection of who we are? Are you ready? Inspire me.
Photo by Ashley Newman Photography